How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

1)Introduction How to Get Anything You Want from Anybody (Well, at Least Have the Best Crack at It!)

1. Most of the studies simply confirmed Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People.3 His wisdom for the ages said success lay in smiling, showing interest in other people, and making them feel good about themselves. "That’s no surprise," I thought. It’s as true today as it was more than sixty years ago
2. Reason One: Suppose a sage told you, "When in China, speak Chinese," but gave you no language lessons? Dale Carnegie and many communications experts are like that sage. They tell us what to do but not how to do it.

2)PART ONE
HOW TO INTRIGUE EVERYONE WITHOUT SAYING A WORD
You Only Have Ten Seconds to Show You’re a Somebody

1.first impressions are indelible. Why? Because in our fast-paced, information-overload world of multiple stimuli bombarding us every second, people’s heads are spinning. They must form quick judgments to make sense of the world and get on with what they have to do. So, whenever people meet you, they take an instant mental snapshot. That image of you becomes the data they deal with for a very long time.
2. The way you look and the way you move is more than 80 percent of someone’s first impression of you. Not one word need be spoken.
3. Deciding to pursue my own agenda for How to Talk to Anyone, I asked, "Bob, if you wanted to portray somebody really cool—you know, intelligent, strong, charismatic, principled, fascinating, caring, interested in other people. . . ."
"Easy," Bob interrupted. He knew precisely what I was getting at. "Just give 'em great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze." It’s the ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody.

4. Missy continued, "The study went on to say a big, warm smile is an asset. But only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility." From that moment on, Missy explained, she gave clients and business associates her big smile. However, she trained her lips to erupt more slowly. Thus her smile appeared more sincere and personalized for the recipient.That was it! Missy’s slower smile gave her personality a richer, deeper, more sincere cachet. Though the delay was less than a second, the recipients of her beautiful big smile felt it was special and just for them.
5. Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm,responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.Let us now travel but a few inches north to two of the most powerful communications tools you possess, your eyes.

6. Beloved people in the game of life look beyond the conventional wisdom that teaches "Keep good eye contact." For one, they understand that to certain suspicious or insecure people, intense eye contact can be a virulent intrusion.
7. Men talking to women and women talking to men or women: use the following technique, which I call "Sticky Eyes," for the joy of the recipient—and for your own advantage. (Guys, I’ll have a man-to-man modification of this technique for you in a moment.)
8. Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s with sticky warm taffy. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string finally breaks.
9. The Epoxy Eyes technique takes at least three people to pull off—you, your target, and one other person. Here’s how it works. Usually, when you’re chatting with two or more people, you gaze at the person who is speaking. However, the Epoxy Eyes technique suggests you concentrate on the listener—your target—rather than the speaker.
10. Watch the speaker but let your glance bounce to your target each time the speaker finishes a point. This way Mr. or Ms. Target still feels you are intrigued by his or her reactions, yet there is relief from the intensity.
11. (Never use Epoxy Eyes on strangers in public settings or you could get arrested!)